The Ryan Smyth Song

One of the places I spend a lot of time is on the Canucks Forum hosted at sportsnet.ca. There's already enough impassioned expression there, so what I enjoy adding are posts that will hopefully make people chuckle a bit. One of the ways I have done that is by posting hockey-themed parody lyrics of popular songs.

Here's some lyrics I wrote around the trade deadline in February 2007, when Edmonton's Ryan Smyth was traded to the New York Islanders and subsequently gave an emotional news conference. The trade coincided with the date of Mark Messier's jersey retirement in Edmonton where Messier skated around the rink holding the Stanley Cup, much to the chagrin of many hockey fans. The chagrin was amplified in sportsnet.ca's quarters, as one of Sportsnet's pro-Oiler bloggers nicknamed "Big Dude" had recently railed against the practice of players showing off the Cup when they were not the current NHL champions.

Of course, the Oilers had suffered losing in the Cup finals the year before and also suffered losing Chris Pronger to his demanded trade in the summer of '06.

Enjoy.


The Ryan Smyth Song
(to the tune of American Pie)

A long, long time ago...I can still remember
How Ninety-Four used to make me smile.
And I knew if they had their chance
The Oil could make those people dance
And, maybe they’d be happy for a while.

But February made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about the trade deadline,
But something touched me deep inside
The day The Mullet died.

So bye-bye, to this year's playoff drive.
Don't have Pronger any longer,
Or that Mike Peca guy.
Now them roughneck boys are drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?
"Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?"

Did you think we'd go all the way,
After watching Rollie play,
In the playoffs of last year?
Did you believe in Marc-Andre,
Was Pisani worth that extra pay,
And were the Oilers this year's team to fear?

Well, I know you love that long hairstyle
You've had that 'do for quite a while,
He made those goalies fret
By banging and crashing the net.

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a red, red neck and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day The Mullet died.

I started singin’,
"Bye-bye" to this year's playoff drive.
Don't have Pronger any longer,
Or that Mike Peca guy.
Now us roughneck boys are drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?
"Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?"

For seventeen years we’ve had no Cup
And very, very, very little drafting luck
But that’s not how it used to be.
Then Messier came to have his number hung
In an old-time jersey with his praises sung
In a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while Big Dude was looking down,
The Cup was lifted and skated 'round,
Other fans were amused to see
Such blatant hypocrisy.

And while the Moose was shedding tears,
GM Lowe was avoiding jeers
By cowering underneath the arena tiers,
The day The Mullet died.

We were singing,
"Bye-bye", to this year's playoff drive.
Don't have Pronger any longer,
Or that Mike Peca guy.
Now us roughneck boys are drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?
"Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?"

I thought we'd get a D-man from the Blues
For some happy deadline news,
But that chance just upped and went away.
I went down to the Rexall rink
Where I hoped to see a team that didn't stink
But a fan there said Smytty wouldn't play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
MacT's boys were broken.
Now's there's guys I want to roast:
The owners, the coach, but KLowe most;
Now the Cup's headed for the coast (!)
Now The Mullet's died.

And they were singing,
"Bye-bye", to this year's playoff drive.
Don't have Pronger any longer,
Or that Mike Peca guy.
Now them roughneck boys are drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?
"Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?"

They were singing,
"Bye-bye", to this year's playoff drive.
Don't have Pronger any longer,
Or that Mike Peca guy.
Now them roughneck boys are drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "Did you see that Ryan Smyth cry?"